Unnecessary?

Sometimes there is no reason, cos I have no idea what I'm feeling..
Its like there's nothing big or serious or anything, just that it doesn't feel good.
Or maybe instinctively I know that there's something wrong,
deep down there is something I can't tolerate, there is a line somewhere even I myself am unaware of...

And then maybe I'm afraid, that one day this might eventually lead to something worse...

Unnecessary? I don't know, can't be helped...

To leave the world behind

What is it like, to leave the world behind?
Everything you have, you had, you yearned for, gone?
To leave no trace, to be replaced, and eventually forgotten?
To have made no difference, to have been no different?

What is the point of a beginning, when in the end, nothing is brought away?
The experiences, the happiness, the heartaches, the sorrows;
gone like they have never existed...
Of what value is it, to have been there, done that? Will anything have mattered?
If I leave, you leave, we all will eventually, what do we leave behind that will last?

Or maybe, just maybe, there is something that can be left to last.
Something to prove that you've been there, you've at least left a legacy.
The ancients are ingenious indeed, to have each bear a mark from the start,
to be carried and never erased.
Through which experiences are continued, memories passed,
and the essence of being forever lasting...
To be continued...

Dunno...

Haiz, sometimes I really don't know what I'm feeling?
Like, I know I should be feeling something, but yet what I feel doesn't exactly correspond to what I think.
Then yet again, I can't tell if its just a different extent of that emotion or another emotion all together...

I mean, yes sometimes when we are faced with a particular situation, it would be normal and acceptable to feel a particular something.
Then if its a negative emotion we'll tell ourselves to get over it and eventually it done away with it.
Yet, somehow such feelings will find a way back to us..I suppose we are humans afterall...

It would be rational to identify a particular negative feeling or emotion, rationalize it and then get it out from your life so you'll never need to feel miserable again.
But yet, they just keep coming back for more...

Dislike!

I'll Protect You

有时候，会有那种冲动；
想要时时刻刻在你身边，
保护你、守护着你。
不是因为什么，也不是为了什么；
只因为，我认为你值得。

Because its you, I'll protect you.
"With this weapon, I will protect my country (and you), WITH MY LIFE!!"

2 weeks Army Life

Its been quite long since i blogged properly, so i shall rush out a post before some crazy PT, while I have time :)

Life in army wasn't as tough as I thought (the exercising is though), probably because my platoon has nice sergants and commanders :)

Going through all the exercising and aclimatisation, I had many instances to think about what drives me and keeps me going when I'm pushed to my limits.
Its like the epiphanies when you are all dead tired, aching arms and legs, giddy and half-blurry vision, when you can only keep one thing in your mind to keep you going straight.

Haha, I nobody knows what I'm taling about so far, probably :P
My bunkmates will know though; clinging onto their families, friends and people they know.
Yet, we all have one fear, one that overrides every other concern about surviving in the army; to be forgotten by the rest if the outside world.
Being stranded in an offshore island surrounded by guys, behind all the tough faces, we are all a little afraid.

People in the outside world have no idea, how its like to be afraid to return to your home, to those you love, as a stranger...
Never before has it occured, that one day we might be detached from our normal lifes...

Will we come back again?

Dedicated

Haha blur blur people wun understand what it means of me being able to post on blogger :P
I suppose it all comes down to this song :)
A thousand years more...I will ^_^

The Quest for Happiness

Humans are queer creatures. 

Many live life for power, for love, for god, glory and gold.

Upon inspection, these are but avenues to achieve the ultimate goal of life, Happiness.

Yet, when Happiness is imminent, when we can live in bliss and joy, do Humans accept it readily?

There is this Fear, of loss that follows gain; 

there is this Suspicion, of hidden undercurrents and masked complications;

there is this Rejection, of being spoilt and over-reliant. 

Its like a hunt, the fun is the sought for game, 

but when the meat is placed in front of you, the fun is no more.

Its just too easy, to accept, but too hard, to have missed all the fun.

We all have a bit of sadism in us, 

to experience the Tug-of-war between Sadness and Joy, 

to feel the Uncertainty of Insecurity, 

to be Unsure, to be Double-guessing, to be Imagining.

Maybe it would've been better, if Happiness was never given to us in the first place.

Maybe it would've been easier, if we got Hurt more often and received much less.

Maybe it would've been Happier, if we learnt how to Treasure the little things amidst all the sadness.

Happiness, Grab hold to it or Lose it, 

for it either brings you Unlimited Blessings or Lifelong Regrets...